My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Randomize
