what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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