what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Randomize
