On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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