careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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