Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
