yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
