Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize