I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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