she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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