You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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