This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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