We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
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