then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I'm sobbing to NWA
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize