We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
Dicks are not precious.
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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