you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Drunk is not a location!
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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