Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
