He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Randomize
