I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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