You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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