For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize