Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
