He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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