just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize