Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
