well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
