She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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