Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
He kissed a someone with a penis
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I will be naked everywhere
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
