hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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