corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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