I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
