Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
