I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Randomize