but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
