Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
