Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
