All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
