Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
I got inside last night via doggy door
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
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