Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
