and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just gift wrapped bread.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
