Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
