M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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