This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
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