The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
barbara walters just said penis...
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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