My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
