the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
