I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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