Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
