I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
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