This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
