I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
