So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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