yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
