Swine flu. Run for my life!
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
