Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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