New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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