Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
