Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize