Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
