Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
