My underwear smells like fireworks.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
do herpes really smell.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
