It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
there is glitter all over my balls
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