i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
