Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
