Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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