I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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