how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize