kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
