an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Randomize