He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
