i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
